Sardonic Sistah Says

My husband J would like to form his own little Asian version of  Drop Squad to deprogram certain celebrities or to at least limit their public appearances.  A few years ago the person who topped his list was William Hung.  He would cringe every time Hung was on television.  Then he developed a dislike for Bobby Lee and called me racially insensitive for laughing at jokes that felt negatively impinged on Asian male masculinity.

Now he’s “hating on” Aaron from the reality show Hell’s Kitchen.  Every mistake Aaron made he sneered at.    He jeered whenever Aaron’s face came on screen and rooted for him to be voted off.  When he discovered Aaron was safe for another week he let out a sigh of digust.

“He’s such a disgrace,” J said.  “He gives Asians a bad name.”

“Maybe no one else is thinking that,” I offered.  “Maybe he is just a reflection on himself and no one else.”

“Yeah, alright,” J said turning back to television.  He rather watch the highlights of the upcoming show glean more of Aaron’s failings than argue my naivete.  And, actually, I didn’t even believe that one.

For the majority in this country they can rest assured that their actions are only an indicator of their own values and their mother/father parenting skills.  Its not the same for minorities.  We are often not looked at as individuals but as a monolith; the behavior of a few can become a sweeping indictment of a thousand.  If an hispanic commits a crime then of course the majority of them are here illegally.  Black males are shady and need to be watched suspiciously.  For the majority there are many voices that give out different points of view but for people of color there is a designated person or group that the media runs to whenever anything happens whether its in their realm of expertise or not.

It shouldn’t be this way.  The actions of one shouldn’t be used to color the whole group.  I know that there have been times while watching the news I have heard the intro to a news story and I immediately repeate the mantra in my mind, “I hope he’s not black… I hope he’s not black… I hope he’s not black…”  I want to distance myself from the perpetrator.  I release a sigh of relief when I find out that he’s not but then utter a small curse if I should discover that he is.

But then I guess if I don’t want the broad indictments then I should also shun the sweeping praise.  When someone wins an award or is acknowledged for something good then why do many of us strut around like we are vicarious winners? By association we take good that many of us do in the community.  An academy win for a black actor becomes a win for us all.  Likewise, when accolades are handed out to individuals then everyone takes part in racial pride.

There’s rarely a complaint when someone does something good and then by virtue of race it becomes bestowed onto the rest of the group.  Not too many Asians complain about being seen as smarter than other racial groups.  And how many black males will cop to being less than endowed in the genital area?

We aren’t ready to let those things go so perhaps group shame along with group pride is a good thing.  No drop squads are in the making, but perhaps by keeping one another in the community in check we can move further together as a group.