Sardonic Sistah Says

J wanted to know how many games I planned to attend this football season?  2, 6 or all 8?

“All 8 is an awful lot,” I reply, although glad he wants me to sit though J2’s high school football game instead of trying to get me to the state rivalry games of the Bengals and the Browns.  J2 plays some lead position on junior varsity and is 2nd string on varsity.  As you can tell I know all the football lingo.  So really, eight games are 16 because JV plays on Saturday mornings, whereas Varsity plays on Friday night.  I sometimes work Saturdays so Friday nights might be me sitting in the stands watching him bench riding.

I counter with 4 games.

“You aren’t allowed to bring a book,” J said. 

What the— I can’t bring a book?  I might be able to make only three games. 

My husband and step son are jocks.  I am a football widow from August to February (considering on how the Browns play) and big blocks of time are blacked out for Ohio State games.  When we married two years ago it was with the understanding that if our wedding anniversary should ever fall on the same day as the big Michigan/Ohio State game that I would either 1) celebrate earlier in the day but leave him alone later because I am a football jinx or 2) move the celebration either forward or back.

My stepson dreams of playing in the NFL one day and is happiest when involved in sports; he is saddest when he has to read –anything.  Once he used shower gel as lotion because the bottle “looked” like a lotion bottle. 

I often reflect on how J1 and J2 are the antithesis of what most Americans think of when they think of Asian males; moreso my husband, really who is all Korean whereas my stepson could always point to his black heritage. 

I think its safe to say that the two men in my life are not the “nerdy” type.  

Why can’t one be both?  Why does it have to be either/or?   And why do we feel uncomfortable when people step outside of our preconceive notions of who we think they should be? 

At the Beijing Olympics we won the most medals but it was noted that China won more Gold.  As if their rise in the global market wasn’t bad enough but now they are contenders with us in sports?  I’m not sure that is something we are ready to concede.

The image of the Asian American (specifically Asian American male) as a brainiac is one that we can get behind because it helps to dehumanize the group.  They are smart, but that is all they are.  They aren’t passionate, they can’t parse information and recreate such as we can.  Aside from school work, Asian Americans aren’t expected to be competitive in a physical way.

For many Asian immigrants the idea of spending time on sports instead of books isn’t feasible to them.  “Using physical strength to make a living is not respected; it’s a Confucian ideal,” Peter Kwong, a professor of Asian-American studies and urban affairs and planning at Hunter College, told the New York Times.

“You’re wasting your mind. Using your hands is just not a career,” he said.

Many are trying to dispel the “model minority” student myth.  In a recent study put out by the College Board and the National Commission on Asian American and Pacific Islanders called “Facts, Fiction: Setting the Record Straight” it explains why the stereotype of perfect Asian American students is more harmful to the group than helpful.

“To successfully meet the needs of all our young people, schools and colleges must recognize that students differ. Institutions must involve everyone in efforts to meet individual needs — students, parents, advocates, teachers and administrators,” said Gaston Caperton, president of the College Board. “We also can help these students by recognizing the many wonderful contributions of Asian Americans and how they can assist the United States in becoming a better participant in the global society.”

A current article in The Weekly Standardunderscores this finding.  In talking about how many Asian American students with perfect SAT scores and high GPAs are being denied acceptance into Ivy League schools discusses how not knowing what Asian ethnicities are accepted or denied admission gives a false picture that Asian Americans are doing well as a group.

“…even groups supportive of the preference system are dismayed by the unavailability of information. Khin Mai Aung, an attorney with the Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund, says, “Institutions are understandably afraid of litigation, so they haven’t made their policies very public.” She explains that some colleges won’t disclose to her organization which racial groups are included in their diversity plans, and “whether underrepresented Asian ethnicities [e.g., Cambodians, Laotians] are given affirmative action consideration.” Vincent Pan, executive director of Chinese for Affirmative Action, likewise acknowledges that the current system is “opaque” and frustrating. Both call for more transparency and disclosure by admissions programs.”

The article also presents the argument that many put forth, that admission to college be merit-based, although if that should happen black and Hispanic enrollment would drop and the number of Asians on campus could possibly rise in numbers that would be disproportionate to their numbers in the population.

The argument would be to encourage other minorities to study on the level of many Asian Americans so then they can easily challenge the myth of African American and Latino Americans being not as academically gifted as their Asian counterparts.  But the stereotypes that works in favor of Asian Americans being naturally good students helps to go against other minorities.  In a July 16, 2008article in the Los Angeles Times high school students at Lincoln High School already fall inline with their societal roles.  So much so that Hispanic students that get good grades are told they are more Asian than Hispanic and Asian students who don’t do well in school say they are “Mexican at Heart”.

Teenager Thin Lam is the exception to the school’s Asian stereotype, saying that he just wanted the pass but counselors pushed him into a slew of AP classes.  He was even pushed into AP calculus. 

“In the end, I dropped it,” Lam said.

The students also note that Latino students are given a hard time by teachers/hall monitors than Asian students saying if a Latino student is caught in the hall without a pass he is instantly brought back whereas an Asian student can wander the grounds all day and not be spoken to.

I wonder where J2 falls in with this.  Do people see him as more black because he excels in sports and has no interest in studies?  Does he see himself that way?

For now our goal is to boost J2’s GPA and get him excited about learning anyway we can.  Well, almost anyway.   A while ago I saw a book I thought would be just the ticket and gave it to J to read.  He knitted his eyebrows then gave me a look as if I handed him stereo instructions in Russian.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“It’s a new book that is supposed to help American parents raise top notch scholars like Asian parents.”

He looked at the book skeptically and then handed it back. 

“I am an Asian parent,” he said.  “However I do it will be the Asian way.”

From time to time I see older black women wearing their Lincoln Ware Walking Club T-shirts around the city.  They help to debunk the notion that black women are sedentary for fear of sweating out their hair.

Often the women are over 40, maybe in their 50s.  They aren’t thin but they are still body proud; their youthful-looking skin glowing and proud of their curves.

You gotta love black women.

Dr. Eun-Ok Im and Marisol Leos of the University of Texas in Austin are conducting a survey about the physical activity attitudes and they need the input of African American women between the ages of 40-60.  Often in studies like this we are often quickly discounted or lost in the statistics of the majority. 

It doesn’t matter if you do work out or just think about working out, they want your input.  So if you want to give your views please click here.

Study announcement

Study 1: Eun-Ok Im, PhD, MPH, RN, CNS, FAAN, School of
Nursing, The University of Texas at Austin and her
colleagues are conducting a study to explore ethnic
differences in midlife women’s attitudes toward
physical activity.

You are eligible to participate in this study if you
are a midlife women
aged 40 to 60 years old who do not have any mobility
problems; who can read
and write English; who are online; and whose
self-reported ethnic identity
is Hispanic, non-Hispanic (N-H) White, N-H African
American, or N-H Asian.

For the physical activity study: Data will be
collected through the Internet from Feb. 1, 2008 to
May 31, 2011. Methods for the data collection include
an Internet survey among 500 midlife women in the U.S.
on the Internet and four ethnic-specific online
forum discussions among about 30 midlife women per
ethnic group recruited
among the Internet survey participants.

Your involvement will consist of the following: (a)
about 30 minutes are
usually needed to complete the Internet survey
questionnaire; and (b) the
online forums will be conducted for 6 months, should
you agree to
participate in the additional online forum discussion.
Your participation is
asynchronous (you can visit the online forum site and
read and post messages
at your convenience). 

You will receive a gift certificate of 10 dollars for
filling out the
Internet survey, and an additional gift certificate of
50 dollars for
participating in the additional online forum (only
those who participate in
the additional online forum for 6 months will be
provided with this
additional gift certificate). To get reimbursed for
the online forums, you
have to post at least one message per topic. For more
information, please
visit at our website (http://mapa.nur.utexas.edu)
and/or contact us.

Contact Information:

Marisol Leos, Research Assistant
Undergraduate student
School of Nursing, University of Texas at Austin
1700 Red River, Austin, TX 78701
E-mail: mari_l@sbcglobal.net

Eun-Ok Im, PhD, MPH, RN, CNS, FAAN, Professor
School of Nursing, The University of Texas at Austin
1700 Red River, Austin, TX, 78701
Phone: (512) 475-6352
website: http://buda.nur.utexas.edu/EOIM/
E-mail: eim@mail.utexas.edu

Project Website for physical activity study:
http://mapa.nur.utexas.edu

What the filth-flarn-filth? 

So I guess NBC’s Today’s show finds racism against Asians to be funny.

Yeah.  Hilarious.  Can’t. Stop. Laughing.  It’s right up there with the racist black jokes.  Where’s Michael Richards?  Maybe he can put it into his comedy routine.

I was watching E’s “The Soup” and caught a clip of Al Roker and some other woman (I couldn’t tell who it was) going into a store asking a chinese female clerk if she could help them find a gift for a person they believe to be the clerk’s cousin.  Then they pull out a picture of Kathy Lee Gifford. 

See, Kathy is supposed to be the clerks’s cousin because Kathy’s maiden name is Lee.  And the clerk’s name is probably Lee because she’s Chinese.  So they’re cousins.  That’s comedy. 

Get it?  No?!

Well, they do.  So much they revamped the joke from a few days ago when Kathy Lee recounted how Al called her up on her birthday with a fake Chinese accent. 

The Asian American Journalist Association (AAJA) didn’t find the joke funny either and sent NBC a letter complaining about the behavior.  I’m surprised that the AAJA even watches the NBC morning show; it’s not as if the Today show delivers the news.

I guess we should just lighten up because I’m sure if Al Roker saw anything that even broached making fun of African Americans that others would find offensive then he would just laugh it off, wouldn’t he?

I was re-watching Obama’s historical speech when my husband got the phone call.

Obama was at the point when he was re-telling about his mother’s death and her combatting with her health insurance as she layed on her death bed when J came in to tell me that his co-worker’s husband was dying.

A few months ago Layla’s husband suffered a stroke and then a heart attack.  He has been in the hospital for weeks in a coma.  Her husband was retired and Layla was semi-retired, working a part-time job to help with incidentals since it was just the two of them now.  When she wasn’t at work, she was by his side willing him to return to her.

“Are they sure he’s dying?”  I’ve been through the death watch before when a close relative died from cancer nearly 10 years ago.  A couple times they told us she would be gone by the end of the week only to have her last for six more months.

“Well, she’s been through it before,” J said.  “She said the exact same thing happened to her son 10 years ago.  They heard a rattle in his chest and put morphein under his tongue.  It doesn’t look good.’

“She’s alone now,” I said.  Her son was an only child and her husband was her closest family left. 

Perhaps I shouldn’t be too shocked at her husband’s illness.  Black women often outlive their husbands.  I didn’t know that her husband was 20 years her senior; as lively and sprite as he was I thought that he was also in his 50s. 

It’s time to cook.  I often cooked for the older black women J worked with, they are nice and very funny.  The last time I was on a muffin kick I baked so many J took them to work.  Layla took them home to her husband who professed them to be the best muffins he ever had.  J said if I baked the cinnamon rolls he would drop them off in the morning when he went to work. 

“She’s not going to show up tomorrow morning.  She’s going to be by her husband’s side.”

“She can’t afford to,” he then told me about how her husband’s sickness has put Layla into economic straits.  Because they own property medicare told her she was worth too much for medical assistance. 

“This is just wrong,” I said, angry and upset.  “To make sure that her husband dies in comfort and peace she has to go into debt and possibly get ill herself from worry.  That’s bullshit!  It’s all a hustle.  It costs a lot to be born and die and then they get you in between.”

“That’s life,” J said. 

It’s still bull, I think.  I think of how other’s thought she should pull the plug and I vow that when I die I don’t want big business to profit off of my death.  But I know it’s not as easy if it was up to me to decide the fate of my husband or kids.  When you love someone you hope for miracles because that’s all you will have.

J calls around to see if someone will work for Layla in the morning and I hope her missing those few days won’t put her into too much of a financial pinch.  It’s still bull, I reflect as make a list of ingredients that I need for cinnamon buns, offering what little comfort I can.

Interesting choice, although one that the Democrats made over twenty years ago.

It’s a perplexing choice considering that Governor Palin only has one term under her belt.  Her youth is to balance out McCain’s age.  Her gender is meant to snap up those women who felt betrayed with Obama as the head of the Democratic ticket.  I can’t help but think that Condoleeza Rice would make a better choice, not because she’s black and a woman but because she is more experienced and I think it would have made for a more interesting debate between her and Sen. Biden. 

But then perhaps Rice’s baggage is one that McCain didn’t want to saddle himself with.  Or maybe Rice didn’t want to link herself with McCain.

And then I also wonder if Rice as VP could bring over the female vote that McCain is after.  I always felt the women pushing for her liked the fact she is a white woman; I don’t know if Rice can get that kind of allegiance from all sisters.

I don’t know if McCain is able to win on this choice in Veep, anyway.  If he had picked a white male he’d be accused of keeping it as part of the old boy’s club.  A person of color would be pandering to the electorate.  With Palin perhaps the Republicans can finally get what they have wanted for a while: oil drilling in Alaska.

Well, I guess racist, sexist men will stay away from the polls this November.

How long does it take to make a decision?  I mean, he’s known for months now that he was the Republican nominee and he still can’t find a running mate?

It’s not shoes, damn.  He just needs to find someone who won’t look better than him in photo-ops and who can run the senate.  It’s like selecting a Maid of Honor except if he dies then the Maid of Honor would step in and marry the country.

Or, in the case of the Bush-Cheney administration, the Maid of Honor tells you how to run your marriage.

But the word is Jindal is out of the running and Lieberman has been nixed also.  Supposedly Lieberman is McCain’s first choice but Karl Rove isn’t going for it so it’s either Mitt Romeny or Tim Pawlenty will get the nod.

I guess McCain still has time to choose someone.  Who knows, maybe he’s waiting to unveil his pick during the convention just for dramatic effect.  That would be one way to get the press a bit more amped up about his candidacy.

In previous years when watching the Demcratic Convention I often thought that people of color was there just as window dressing — they would bring the people of color out just to show they had some but when it came to putting them on the ticket or giving them key cabinet positions then that was another story. I have often argued that GWB had a more people of color in key positions than “civil rightd” Bill Clinton ever dreamed of seeing around him.

But this whole week has lead up to tonight.

On Monday Michelle Obama opened by explaining what type of person her husband was and why he was good for the country.

Tuesday all eyes were on Hill-dawg with many pundits claiming she didn’t say Obama was ready to lead.

Wednesday felt like it was a McCain intervention. $e was barely mentioned the days prior so when people cme up and began saying “McCain is my friend, but this is how he really is…” it was a bit weird.

But Bill got across what Hillary missed the night before, yes Obama is ready to lead. I cried nearly all the way through Beau Biden’s speech. At first I thought it was me being hormonal until I saw a man in the audience wiping at his eyes. I think the best reflection of a person is the way their offspring carry themselves. From the glimpse I got last night of Beau I’m intrigued to know more about his dad.

Then Papa Joe came out and lit into ‘McCain’s stances and I could hear Clarence AS2 declare, “He’* got a good face, that Joe Biden. I like him.”

Saving the best for last tonight it’s Barack’s turn to take the podium. Many are still waiting to know who he is. Hopefully he can show them tonight.

I fell in love with the music of Fela a few years ago, when the AIDs benefit series released their Red Hot + Riot cd. 

Then I picked up Chief XCel’s musical mix of Fela tunes called Underground Spiritual Game and became intrigued enough to go see the Black President traveling exhibit that came to the CAC.  Although Fela was gone he seemed to be everywhere: his music, his life, his son Femi (although not one of his 27 wives).

But now he’s back again.  At least off-Broadway style.  Fela the musical is getting good reviews, mixing the singer/artist/activist life story with his soul stirring music.  If people can go see Mama Mia then Fela is a no brainer.

It’s the last week of August and there are still some kids who have yet to go to school.  To be fair, some charter schools are still opening up, with a few whose first day will be next Tuesday.  But in Southwestern Oh it is known that Cincinnati Public Schools (CPS), Private/Parochial Schools and suburban schools are back in session.

Which is the way it should be because these restless kids are getting on my nerves.

A few kids aren’t in school yet because of custom; the parents didn’t attend school before labor day so they don’t want their kids to go to school before the official end of summer.  CPS tried doing a big school kick-off for a couple of years to help get out the word that school starts a couple weeks before labor day, not the week of but still there are a few families who just don’t believe in short summers, longer school years.

Then there are the kids who are in-between schools.  When August hit I asked the kids if they were excited about going back and what schools did they attend. The majority of kids said they were not ready to go back, a some said they were excited to go back and a few kids said they weren’t sure what school they were going to attend. 

The kids who didn’t know what school to attend parents were in a quandry about what school to send their children to.  When I was a kid if you didn’t attend a private school or a magnet school then you went to the neighborhood school.  The neighborhood public had to take you no matter how bad you were and you had to go to it no matter how much you hated it.  That was that.

But now parents have a lot of schools to choose from but no criteria given to help them select the best school for their children.  How can you tell that your child will do better in a Montessori school as opposed to traditional style classes?  If Charter schools aren’t much better than regular public school then which one should you go with?  Or should you risk keeping your child in a bad school just so then you can be eligible for a voucher so then you can actually afford a private academy but then you hope against hope that your neighbor with the bad ass kids won’t select the same school for her kids as you do for yours when she also hits the voucher lottery.

So if you are poor and black and miseducated/uneducated/undereducated but you want a good school for your child then what are you supposed to do?

I suppose the smart thing to do would be to go to someone who might know although, for some reason, many don’t see the public library as that porthole of information to help them make that choice.  Or perhaps they fear we would burden them with more information which makes it more cumbersome, not freeing.  So instead they ask their neighbors, their friends, and their family for advice, who may or may not know what the state report card is for that particular school but do know that their cousin’s sister’s boyfriend’s uncle’s son goes there and he’s supposed to be really smart and gets all As.

In the end the parents scramble and eventually find a school because a school is a school, right?

Education is somewhere on the agenda of both presidential candidates with one wanting to put more emphasis on “school choice” and the other wanting to reform public education so parent’s don’t have to rely on vouchers.

Governor Strickland of Ohio went on an education tour in July and August.  In six cities he spoke with parents, students and educators to gather ideas on how to improve how children learn in the state.  During the Cincinnati conversation many parents threw out ideas like year round schooling and individualized education.

But these things are for the future.  I wonder what is going to happen to the kids I see now who are future employees, future workers and future parents whose own children will rely on them to send them to school and help them with homework.

I smudge boundary lines for one child I like in particular.  By week two we were all buzzing about why he wasn’t in school yet.  He’s a smart kid; he told me he wanted to be president one day and I gave him age appropriate books on the government. 

“I already know all this,” he told me and proceeded to tell me about our three ringed government and the work that each does, touching a bit on the checks and balances making him more knowlegable on the subject than most adults.

I cut out a button with his name, proclaiming his run for president.  “I’d vote for you,” I told him.  He smiled.  We strategized how he could accomplish this feat in the future, basically following Obama’s walk.  First law school, then a lawyer, then a state senator, then a senator in DC and then after his presidential win I can be on his cabinet.

He came back in the next day discouraged.  He told his mother of his plan and in her fear she told him not to fly so high.

But still he’s not in school.  I call a friend who used to work for a prestigious private school in the city.  She gives me a name which I promptly call to find out if there is a space for him in his grade.  There is.  The school has an inner city campus which is created to give a boost to poor kids but is actually filled with suburban kids who can’t afford the main campus.  The woman informs me they don’t accept vouchers but for hard luck cases they waive the majority of the school cost but still want the family to pay 600.00 a year.

I talk to the mother, she visits the school but admits she and her husband can’t pay that much.  I talk to my church but we are unable to get the money together at such short notice.  I suggest to the mother my daughter’s primary school, which wasn’t college prep but was a good school just the same.  They accept vouchers there and I give her the name of the teacher who is a good friend of mine.  She would also be the child’s prospective teacher.

My coworkers warn me to tell me I am crossing lines that I shouldn’t and I know that I am.  My job is to be detached and to give unbiased information.  It’s what I usually do and I have no problem with it.  The problem is we live in a biased world.  It’s also a world that obvious things to some are hidden in the open for others.  My heart hurts and I don’t know what to do so I take a step out … for one person.

Hopefuly it will only be this one.

Ohio released it’s report card yesterday about school districts around the state.  Mostly everyone passed, nothing lower than a C.  That’s good, for them.  I just worry about the one kid whose parents haven’t found him a school yet.  At the end of school next year will he get all passing grades or will he fail?

We are now on Day 3 of the Democratic Convention.  Michelle Obama started off the convention with a stirring keynote speech that had everyone tallking on Day 2.  Last night H. Clinton spoke with the hope of mending the rift that she helped to tear into the party.  Tonight its her husband.

Party conventions have always struck me as pep rallies.  I have read that in previous years it was often used to hash things out but to my recent memory of 20 or so years (I half way watched it as a child and teen) the conventions have always been lovefests.  It’s almost there, except those who support H-dawg were feeling shortchanged when she lost the nomination and then they were hurt when she wasn’t veeped.  So where we are now is in Denver, trying to get them on board in hopes that the Independents watching that ain’t no party like a Democratic party ’cause a Democratic party don’t stop.

We’ll see what happen next week in Minneapolis.  Maybe the Purple One will come out and perform for him, what other reason could there be to go to the Twin Cities?