Pondering Proper Protocol
Yesterday I had lunch with Grace. I brought her up to speed with what was happening in my life (which is where it was the last time we spoke) and she gave me the 411 on what was happening with her (which was a lot. I almost got drama envy).
We saw these two young guys approaching us and as they moved on by we could see that they weren’t really young men at all, but young women who look like young.
Hmmmm?
When did this happen, I asked.
Girl, I don’t know, she agreed.
We remembered the one girl in our high school whom we suspected was a lesbian. The rumor was she was a lesbian. We talked about her (“You know so and so is a lesbian”). I don’t know why we thought she was a lesbian; maybe it was the short closely cropped hair or the manly strut. There was a rumor that she asked one of the popular girls out. She never hung out with any black kids, just the druggie white kids who would stand out in the smoking section even if it was 10 degrees below. No one talked to her about it and no one wanted to ask her straight out. Except for Grace who was bold enough to try to put an end to the rumor or verify it.
“So I walked up to her and asked her if it was true. I just said, “It’s a rumor going around that you’re a lesbian, are you?” and she wanted to fight me. She said, “Bitch, I oughta knock you out” and I just walked away because if she wanted to fight me then she should swing on me but I’m not going to stand there and discuss it.”
We laughed and then discussed the ones who had come out since graduation which was half of the girls basketball volleyball team I saw one girl get married on the Jerry Springer show while the show was still located here in the city and wasn’t the circus it became once it moved west. Grace hadn’t seen it and wasn’t quite sure who I was talking about.
But now young black men who want to be black women and young black women who want to be black men are passing with their gender. A lot of the young women who look a lot like young guys. They come in with their frilly girlfriends and try to find a corner to sneak and make out, which doesn’t pass here no matter what your sexual persuasion is.
I never know what the proper pronoun is to use with them. The young men are happy to be referred to as her, but I’ve never been friends with drag kings so are they also delighted to be called him?
So I ask a young co-worker what kids his age call those whose gender they might not know or for those who might be a bit more feminine or masculine in appearance.
He shrugged his shoulders. “We just call everybody dude anyway.”
Dude? Huh. It could work.
