Sardonic Sistah Says

Observations… Ruminations… Ponderances… & Rants from Another Perspective

My Addiction

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Hi, group.  My name is Freedom.  I work in a library.  I like to read books but every once in a while… I getta book…and its hard, ya know?  It started off when I was in school.  Ya know?.  As a literature majory you have to read 5-6 books a week on top of other things for other classes.  Its hard to get through books like Colson Whitehead’s “John Henry Days” or Hardy’s “Tess of D’Urbevilles”.  But then, somebody told me that I could get the book on tape.  They said, “Go ahead and get it gurl.   It’s just like reading; ain’t nobody gonna know…”

So I gotta it.  And I loved it. 

Then when I got out of school I kept doing it.  I thought, what’s the harm?  Its just one book, ya know?  I’d check the tapes out of the library and listen to them when I went for long runs and now I download them from audible.com

 I got daughter’s hooked, too.  She has listened to “Sense and Sensibilities” on tape and on the drive to look at colleges we listened to “The Bridge of San Luis Rey”.  She has all of BBC’s theatrical reading of “The Hobbit” and “Lord of the Rings” under her bed. 

And I wanna stop, ya know.  But it’s hard.  A couple of months ago I downloaded “Shalimar the Clown” to listen to on MP3 while I cleaned around the house, ya know, but then I felt so bad, so dirty.  I thought I can read this book.  I should read this book, ya know.  But I just wanted to listen to it and hear Aasif Mandvi read because his voice sounds so good and soothing.  I know I should read it myself.  But I can’t get this monkey off my back.  If I know there is an audio version I want to listen to it and sometimes I listen to it over and over again. 

I know I need help, that’s why I’m here.  I need to stop listening and start reading more.  I just wanna be able to have two or three books under my belt in a shorter time, ya know.  Its not like I don’t read!  I still read.  Not every book is on audio, so I still read some books that aren’t on audio.  But if a book is on it and I wanna read it but I’m already reading something else then I do it.  I have audio sets in the glove compartment of my car; I have them hidden behind the books on my bookcases.   I know its wrong, I feel so bad afterwards and good at the same time.  Its like I did it.  I listened to “Razor’s Edge” and finished “The Journey of Man” at the same time.  

I don’t think I do it without the audio books.  I don’t think I can read as much or accomplish as much if I don’t have someone else’s voice in my head doing the narration.  I know I gotta stop, but I can’t… I just can’t…. I can’t…. I can’t

(breaking down in uncontrollable sobs)

O Lawdy Jesus help sinners like me. 

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Written by rentec

3 August, 2007 at 1:56 pm

Posted in books

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