Sardonic Sistah Says

Observations… Ruminations… Ponderances… & Rants from Another Perspective

New Hot Trend: Designer Blasian Babies

with 4 comments

A few weeks ago I did what I never thought I’d do, at least not this soon.  I moved another step away from the big 4-0.  As my mind is still reeling with what seems to be a scientific improbability I’m getting hit up with what my friends think is a more daunting question:  when am I going to have that next baby.

“It will be so cute,” they say.  “And smart.  You’re gonna have one, right?”

For the last year I have been pondering that question, all while I help my daughter prepare for college this fall and my husband hopes and prays his son will begin to take learning more seriously as he enters high school.  So we are not really a couple you can sell on the cuteness of babies because we realize that cuteness has a window –six, maybe seven years tops and then suddenly the adorable child becomes dat brat.  Only punk newbie moms complain about the terrible twos, wait until those little wunderkinds become terrible teens and trying twenties and then they will understand what real parental angst is. 

I am a newly wed (16 months married) and because of that everyone is still expecting me to behave in the way I would have 15 or so years ago if I weren’t already a bit jaded with life.  I’m supposed to have a fresh view on life and look out into the future but with 40 looming ahead of me next year I’m realizing that I’m just a hop skip and a jump from 50 which means multivitamins.  And from there its very close to 60 and I’ll be waiting to get my AARP card.  So how can I project babies into the next few years when I see rocking chair and sensible shoes in my crystal ball.

Babies are everywhere and for Hollywood it seems the new hot thing is recreating Josephine Baker’s “Rainbow Tribe” of a family with Brangelina and Madonna adopting little brown babies.   Everyone wants to do what the stars are doing but not everyone can afford to go to a third world country and pick out a child the same way regular Americans go to Walmart to pick out a shirt.  No, for regular Americans we can only use our own boring genes and hope to find a Seal, Russell Wong or Johnny Depp to give us that designer “exotic baby” look.

 It seems that everyone wants me think about having another child (except my mother who, after six kids, believes one is enough).  I suspect even the universe is converging into one single idea for me for ’08 because for the last couple of days when I check my email I note that in an online club that I belong to someone has linked YouTube videos of Blasian babies

Even the local cafe owner seems in on the conspiracy.  “Have you seen my grandson?” he asks pointing out the tyke standing next to him.  Mr. Lee  is South East Asian.  His little boy shifts his big eyes towards me and smiles slowly, hesitantly.

“He’s adorable,” I tell Mr. Lee and then to the grandson I say, “You are too cute, you know that, don’t you?”  His shy mouth finally breaks into a grand smile although he still eyes me cautiously.  Maybe he’s just a wary child or perhaps he’s tired of being tirelessly gushed over.  Cuteness must be tiring.

“He’s half black you know?  His father’s black!” Mr. Lee says proudly.  I look at the little boy again and think he looks all Asian or maybe a little big like Dave Chappelle’s son.    I register this as another portent and think, “Et tu, Mr. Lee?”

That hint of Asian seems to be the in thing right now (Asian is the new black).   The same way African Americans were claiming Native American heritage in the 60’s and 70’s* is similar to how some have suddenly found Asians on their family tree.*  Asian culture is heavily influencing youth culture (Anime, Manga, J-Pop, K-Pop)  and karate movies have always been big in the hood.  Because Asian American and African American pairings have not been as prevalent as Black/White and Asian/White some people around me are expecting me to come through and give them an example of what a Blasian baby looks like.

I point to my step son.

“Don’t you want a baby of your own?” they query.  “It will be so cute.  Don’t you want to see what your genes together looks like?”

I find their interest mildly amusing; it’s similar to the fascination with the designer dogs that is the rage right now (although I’m not hating, I really would like to have a Puggle).  As if the cuteness of the child is in direct proportion to whether you should become a parent or not.  It’s automatically assumed that biracial children will be gorgeous and mono-racial children are just mundane.  But aren’t all humans mutts, especially in America?  Who can claim to have a pure bloodline of anything unless you are a recent immigrant.  I’m of the mindset that most babies, no matter what their parental heritage, are beautiful.  And beauty only goes so deep, I am much more concerned with whether at this age my husband and I have the energy and inclination to be parent a child as we have my daughter (who is mono-racial) and my stepson (Black/Korean). 

So really I have to ask him what he thinks.  So I do.

“Yeah, we can have a baby,” he says.

“But do you want one?”

“Yeah, I do,” he says in his non-committal voice.

I remind him of all the things that come with a baby: diapers (cloth or disposable), child care, teaching it to walk (teaching it to talk is debate-able), and just the surfeit of time.  And our age, more for me than for him.  But he is undaunted.  He was adopted and for him having blood connections is important.  He loves his family but he needs to see someone who looks like him (or a close facsimile); he needs to replicate his DNA a couple of times.

“We’ll try at the end of the year,” he assures me.  “Don’t you want us to have a baby?  It’ll be the embodiment of our love.”

“I guess,” I say has he pulls me close to him.  He hugs me tight.  I like that.  I guess I can check with my doctor and in the meantime re-read Ready.

“Besides,” he says.  “Our baby will be so cute.”

*According to Henry Louis Gates only 5% of African Americans have Native American ancestry)
*To be fair, when Chinese coolies were brought into Antebellum south some of them did end up intermarrying  with black and white women.
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Written by rentec

28 February, 2008 at 9:33 pm

4 Responses

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  1. I don’t think you should let others talk you into it. think about your energy level. But if you decide to do it, do it soon, or it might be hard to get pregnant, and the risks/difficulties mount every year you wait to try.

    Best of luck with your decision,
    Madame Monet
    Writing, Painting, Music and Wine
    winewriter.wordpress.com

    wpm1955

    11 May, 2008 at 1:09 pm

  2. First I laughed most of the way thru reading this. Girl, I know your pain. I ran thru the baby questions for years before I finally found a reason to share my DNA. Let me tell you he still had to sell me on the idea for months before I agreed.

    My word of advice as I waddle with my little contribution to the blasian baby community? Block everything and everyone else out. Take your time and be sure it’s what you and your hubby want. Babies are cute but as you already know that after a certain point that’s sales pitch expires.

    I’m glad you shared your thoughts about this 🙂

    Nikki

    18 May, 2008 at 3:40 pm

  3. I came across this site if your interested:

    http://sweetricechronicles.wordpress.com/

    Zen

    17 December, 2008 at 8:14 pm

  4. Thanks for hyping up the Sweet Rice sight but… umm… that is another blog that I started. I do it in conjunction with two other black moms of Blasian kids.

    rentec

    20 December, 2008 at 7:57 pm


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