Sardonic Sistah Says

Observations… Ruminations… Ponderances… & Rants from Another Perspective

Archive for March 8th, 2010

War Between the Genders: Taking Ownership of Your Own Shhhh

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This morning I’m happy that Mo’Nique won Best Supporting Actress for her role in the film Precious but last week I was giving her a raised eyebrow sideways glance for that interview she did with Wesley Snipes on the couch.  Unlike other people I still don’t hold the Ebony November 1997 article against him; in some ways I think the article was blown out of proportion to what he said and what he probably meant.  But last week’s interview was a bit too much for her to assert that Wesley is ours and for him to proclaim love of big girls when his last two women (his current wife included) are Korean.

And then there’s the whole Halle Berry’s deaf ear thing (to be fair to Snipes, Berry has never denied or confirmed the allegation that Snipes was the one who abused her).

It’s just my opinion, but it makes me very uncomfortable when we go into the old routine of “back a black man” no matter what.  I’m definitely down for my brothers but I don’t think we have to play martyr in order for them to be(come) a man.  I have to go to the old movie disclaimer and say “No Black women were harmed in the making of this Strong Black Male”.

Maybe it’s because black women treat men as such a precious commodity it doesn’t give them room to be men.   But then that doesn’t excuse black men for not taking responsibility for the decisions that they make or taking advantage of situations in the black community that overtly favor them.

What?  What conditions are those?  You don’t see it?  A growing number of black women do see it and they are blogging about it — call us black feminists, womanists if you will although I’m sure the appellation many black males are using for us are bitches– and what worries us is the preference of taking Black male issues over Black female issues and the problems it creates in the black community.  We aren’t misandrists, just women who want more than black folks are reaching for together at the moment.

Last week NPR’s Tell Me More interviewed a brother who also sees the inequity of attention to male/female gender issues in the black community.  Dr.  R. L’Heureux Lewis that in the black community black males have an advantage over black women that is rarely talked about.

Black male privilege is first centered as being relative to black women. I’m not comparing black males privilege to white male privilege. I think one could argue that, but it  (could) be a very dangerous leap. When we look in the African-American community, there are actually spaces where black men are advantaged and often sometimes dominate a dialogue, when we should be listening more carefully to whats happening with black women equally…

I think you’ve unfortunately identified one of the central issues of black male privilege. So often, black men are used to being under attacked that when it comes to being accountable for the actions we may have, we quickly say, well, I couldn’t possibly be doing anything wrong. Look at all the ways in which I’m oppressed. Look at all the ways in which I’m at the bottom of the barrel. What that does is rob us of an opportunity to actually build stronger community and it robs black men of a chance to actually take hold of the actions that they have so that we can empower the community.

Tell Me More 4 March 2010

Black males as oppressors of Black females and the black community at large?  I totally agree but don’t know how it will fly with black men and black women.  But if Dr. Lewis has a forum at Tavis Smiley’s upcoming forum, especially if Dr. Lewis delivers another version of the speech below.


Written by rentec

8 March, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Who Rocks it Better? SNSD vs Rihanna

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I love New Order’s song Blue Monday but since I don’t really listen to the radio I completely missed how Rihanna sampled it for “Shut Up and Drive”.

So if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery perhaps Ri-Ri will be impressed that the Korean super girl group SNSD sampled Blue Monday and lifted a line from her mashup.

So, it’s time again to play who rocks it better?



My verdict?   I guess it’s a cheat to say I prefer Blue Monday but between the other two, it’s a toss up for me.   Both made good use of the sample and they are catchy.

What’s your verdict?

Written by rentec

8 March, 2010 at 4:21 am