Sardonic Sistah Says

Observations… Ruminations… Ponderances… & Rants from Another Perspective

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FYI’s Bride and Prejudice

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I’m not gonna lie, I watched the whole first season of Married at First Sight and part of the next season of their first year.

Yeah, I was watching TV instead of writing. What?!

Okay, maybe I could spend a bit more time in my feelings with my fingers on a keyboard.

But back to the point, FYI has a new show called Bride and Prejudice, not to be confused with the favorite Aishwarya Rai movie that is a take on Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

bride and prejudice

Nope. This one has modern day couples dealing with the racism or homophobia of their families.

To promote the show they used three different couples which they didn’t use in the show (what’s up with that). But at least the promo gave us the cute Raquel and Justin.

They both do Muay Thai, they are both adorable. Maybe FYI will catch a clue and give them their own show, maybe in one of those little tiny houses they are always house hunting for people.

I guess if you watch it use the #loveislove and let’s get these cuties their own show.


Written by rentec

14 April, 2016 at 1:09 pm

Searching to be Sought

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My daughter and I spied them at the same time.

We were just leaving the Nike store when I saw the diminutive female.  She was fair skinned (black) with her hair in Shirley Temple curls although she looked years past the age for that hair style to be acceptable.  Actually, if you aren’t Shirley Temple at 6 years old I don’t see why anyone would be wearing that hair style.  She held one shirt in her hands as she walked to the cash register, the other shirt against the front of her body, as if she wanted to show everyone that it was perfect for her.

Trailing behind her was an older, heavier white male who seemed to be more than twice her age.  His wallet in his right hand, his left pulling out cash.

Cricket and I walked out the store looking at each other.

“That couple–” I begin.

“Yeah, that was just weird,” Cricket finished.

“Maybe that was her father?”

“No.  I don’t think so,” Cricket said.  “She didn’t seem like she’d be dressed that way around her dad.  Or maybe we are just conservative.  Maybe it was a big brother, little sister situation where the big brother is a geriatric man and a young lady who seems like she’d be past the age of needing a parental mentor.”

“Yeeeahhhh,” I say doubtfully before voicing what I really think.  “It could be a –”

“I need to get a,” Cricket  inserts as we finish at the same time.

“Sugar Daddy.”

“Like, the other BW/WM couple didn’t seem that odd.”

“It was the age,” Cricket said. “Being the same age normalizes it.”

“Besides the fact they were impossibly tall and cute.”

I thought about this “couple” (?) as I watched the documentary “Seeking Asian Female” PBS’ Independent Lens.  From newbie director, Debbie Lum, the film follows the relationship of Steven and Sandy.  Steven is a twice divorced 50+ white male with Asian fever.  He admits that he doesn’t have much money, he’s not much to look at, and is looking for a woman on the submissive side.  While on AsianFriend finder he scrolls through pictures of available women in China and exclaims, “They are all so beautful!”

SAF: SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE Movie Trailer from Seeking Asian Female on Vimeo.

Sandy is a tenacious, intelligent  30 year old Chinese woman.  She comes to stay with Steven while on a 30 day fiancee Visa and has to decide at the end of the time whether to marry him.

I have to admit that I was not rooting for them to work out.  In the beginning we are unsure of Sandy’s intentions but we soon find out that Sandy really does love him.  The qualms I did have was the problems they had communicating.  After all of that time of being a Sinophile and fawning over Asian women Steven didn’t attempt to learn Mandarin  or Cantonese.  (Although I have to admit that trying to learn Korean is pretty hard for English speakers.)  But having the communication wall brought in another dimension: the director was often recruited to translate and mediate their arguments.  As you can expect the fantasy of someone often violently clashes with the reality of the actual person.

Steven comes off as entitled and clueless.  When asked what he thought Sandy got out of being with him he said coming to this country.

Maybe it’s the Western frame of mind.  Just this morning I ran across a link to this blog where a young American woman who is married to a Chinese male ruminates along these lines.

The “Charisma Man” phenomenon across Asia that foreign men experience makes them feel as if they are the next Brad Pitt. Meanwhile, foreign women — especially white women — are often showered with compliments about their appearance (something I experienced once in a beauty salon). And overall the fact that China still believes “foreign is better” means that foreigners of all genders — especially white foreigners — feel as if they’re standing on a pedestal compared to the locals. So then it’s easy to think, “hey, these people aren’t my equals because I’m clearly above them.” And that somehow translates into the idea that you deserve only a “9″ or a “10″ to date in China. It’s what you call social dominance – creating arbitrarily set hierarchies based, in this case, on ethnicity and/or race.

Speaking of China, Foreigners Who Think They’re Entitled to Date the Hottest Chinese

Even though all of the white people in the above stories seemed to (or may) have a delusions of grandeur in relationships to their looks and what they can rightly bank on the people of color may (or may not) be banking on what the other person wants from them: their beauty, their youth, sexual vigor. In the end is it a fair trade? Does someone always get something out of it even if the rest of the world curiiously watches and dismisses such unions?

I found the both the article and documentary interesting from a black female perspective, since it seems lately a few blogs are encouraging black women to be more like Asian women because a growing number of men are pursuing them as their ideal of a perfect woman. But I am not sure if I would want for my daughter a large number of men pursuing her on superficial grounds. I would like for a few decent men to see the real her, beyond her beauty, and know inside they have a real treasure.

And that would be a better trade than athletic swag, although if she must trade I hope she’d be smart enough to go to Tiffany’s instead.

Written by rentec

7 May, 2013 at 7:43 pm

Something New… But Not Really

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Sandra "Pepa" Denton and Tom Lo: the new face of Blasian Coupledom

  I received a couple of emails about Sandi “Pepa” Denton and her new boyfriend Tom Lo on the television show “Let’s Talk about Pep“.  I’ve seen the show’s premiere episode and I liked it; I would describe it as a reality slanted black version of “Sex and the City”.  But after the first episode I never got a chance to go back to it because I’ve been, for lack of a better word, “consumed” with the final season of “Lost”.  But I am hoping that VH-1 follows these ladies a 2nd season and keeps the first season online for people to watch.

 Suffice it to say, I haven’t seen the episode where Tom woos and courts Pep so I don’t know if it is a real romance or a showmance, but does it really matter?  For may women just watching an AsAm/AfAm couple like Pepa and Tom on-screen is a bit revolutionary.   Not only can a professional sister like Zoey Andata (Gabrielle Union)  hook up with Demetri Noh (John Cho) on FlashForward but if a down chick like Pep can cross a line to date a Chinese brother then maybe there aren’t as many blockades as we thought there were.  The “Nothing but a Brother” brigade might be losing members.

 AM/BF love connections aren’t really new.  They might seem like something new because they aren’t as ubiquitous as BM/WF or WM/AF but they exist if only in small numbers. 

 A few years ago blasian groups were all  atwitter with the AsianWeek cover with an Asian man and black woman.  The impetus for the article was writer/former AsianWeek editor Sam Cacas’ book “BlAsian Exchanges”.  In the interview Cacas says, “BlAsian relationships only started happening in the late ’90s and are regularly verified on the Internet in Yahoo discussion groups like PowerCouples_AMBW with 300-plus members — mostly black women—which I co-moderate, and YouTube videos like the one showing the BlAsian couple in an IKEA commercial. The image of black women and Asian men needs to be broadened beyond their archetypal racial uniforms of accepting notions of white beauty.”

  I found this picture on my new favorite blog, B. Vikki Vintage.    The Wedding announcement is circa the late 1950s. 

 Taking it back further, after the civil war Chinese coolies were invited into the south to help keep down salaries of poor whites and newly freed blacks.  When some Chinese put down roots in their new cities they married black and white women (1).

 Something new really isn’t something new and probably surprises each generation when it comes around again.  But I guess if you haven’t seen it then it’s new to you.

 At one time it was new for me and I haven’t seen myself reflected back in the couples around me.  But back in January I was running errands during lunch saw a young AM/BF couple walking towards me.  I stopped and looked , trying not to appear too shocked.   As I entered the building I stopped to talk to a friend and I saw a different AM/BF couple come in holding hands oblivious to their surroundings.

I haven’t thought much about although yesterday as I was working the desk I was approached by a Chinese man and African woman.  I helped them find the book they were searching for and couldn’t help noticing the love taps that kept going back and forth, the shy smiles and the furtive glances.  A smirk came over my face and I had to ask, “Are you two a couple?” 

“No,” said the man.  “We are students.”  I told them my husband was Korean American and I just thought I saw something there.  We began to talk about visiting Asia then he thanked me for the book and as they left they jostled and touched on the say going out. 

Mmm hm, I thought.  

Then later that day another young Chinese male came in to use a computer and of all the empty computers around he chose a table that had a few pretty young black females.  I slyly watched their interactions; he smiled at one particular dark girl with long black hair.  She seemed to be a bit attracted to him, too, because she kept smiling back and answering questions that I’m pretty sure he knew the answer to.  I left the desk not knowing the resolution to their mild timid flirtation.  Maybe they exchanged numbers or maybe they have other connections that might keep them apart.   Who knows whom likes whom?  How does one approach blank and what do we have in common?   The modern dating dilemma is not something new, color withstanding.

Written by rentec

6 March, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Tall Enough, Again

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When I first posted about Barry Jenkin’s short Tall Enough it was just a link so you could vote for it on Bloomingdale’s website for short films.

But now Bloomingdales place their shorts on YouTube so you can either view it there or you can view it here.

Enjoy again.  I really love this fim.

Written by rentec

20 December, 2009 at 4:30 pm

AM/BW Spotting: Audrey and Dre

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I found a link for the video in Sam Cacas column for Black-Asian Unity on

Of the mobisode Cacas writes:

 Probably the most impressive development is the July 23 debut of a mobisode preview called “Audre and Dre” which was produced by Los Angeles-based Kelley Company Productions. Co-starring New Jersey-born actress (see vid of her recent appearance on the T.V. show House) Audrey D. Kelley and Andrew Chen, the film highlights their fictional marriage’s ups and downs ending in a hedonistic sensually fulfilling ending.

Asian Week, Black-Asian Unity: BlAsian Love in the New Media 7Dec09

I like the video.  It’s a bit clunky but I’m curious to see where it goes from here.  The premiere episodes, nay seasons, of a lot of popular shows started out rough.  So I subscribed  to “Audrey and Dre” so I can view upcoming episodes on my cell.  If you want to keep up, too, then go to KellyCo Productions.

Written by rentec

20 December, 2009 at 4:03 pm

You Don’t Know Jack; I Didn’t Either

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Jack Soo as Detective Nick Yemana

When I was a kid I kinda, used to watch Barney Miller.  I didn’t watch it a lot because for a six-year-old the jokes were over my head.  The most I remember is that it had a lot of white guys, a black guy, an Asian guy and Fish.  Everyone knew Fish.  You may have never seen the show probably know who Fish is.  What surprises many people is not that they know of him but he’s still alive and kicking it today.

What surprised many people is when Jack Soo died in real life. It was really unexpected, mostly because we thought Fish was going to die.  As a kid I only knew him from the show and was surprised one day rewatching Thoroughly Modern Millie with my daughter to see him come on screen and do a soft shoe.  After that I finally caught Flower Drum Song on the American Movie Channel and saw him as Sammy Fong. 

He’s still surprising me today.  Thanks to Jeff Adachi‘s new film “You Don’t Know Jack: The Jack Soo Story” he will surprise you, too.  He was the first Asian American to be regular on a TV show.  And, this one is really a shocker, he was the first Asian American to sign with Motown Records in 1965 and he recorded (but never released) “For Once in My Life” before Stevie Wonder.

Sometimes history is lost not because anyone is hiding it but because we forget to tell our story to the younger generation.  If you feel like you don’t know Jack but would like to then check the website and see when it comes to a festival near you.

Written by rentec

19 December, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Fred Ho Talks on the Black Arts Movement and AsAm Struggle

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So, y’all know I love me some Fred Ho.  If there was a father of the Blasian/AfroAsian movement he would be it for the work and art he’s created in the community.  Here is part of his speech that he gave at the Asian American/Asian Research Institute on October 16, 2009.  It’s about how the black arts movement influenced Asian Americans today.

To learn more about Fred Ho and to purchase his CDs/books go to his website.  To hear his speech in it’s entirety click here.

Written by rentec

19 December, 2009 at 4:08 pm